October 12, 2008

Did you know that a
Halved twenty will make two bills
Just like a cut worm


September 21, 2008

Is it smoke or steam?
My fire alarm doesn’t care
Fun in the shower


September 9, 2008

My fire alarm
Cries crocodile tears during
My oven’s pre-heat


September 6, 2008

I wish to be a
Radio tuned only
To your frequency

The Arena

August 31, 2008

Doors open for brunch;
I’m a gladiator who
Awaits the lions

The Gamble

August 15, 2008

Plucking the petals
He loves me, he loves me not
The flower is rigged


August 12, 2008

I’m crazy for you
It’s a good thing that I’m sane
For everyone else


August 10, 2008

I curse the weather
Were I at all sweet I’d melt
In all of this rain

The Queue Cop

July 15, 2008

Guy standing in line:
Keep with the flow of traffic
I will ticket you

Fine Like Wine

July 13, 2008

You’re like Pinot Noir:
You go well with everything;
Bound to break my heart

Automatic Etiquette

July 6, 2008

You do not need to
Thank the mechanical door
It’s doing its job

Sheets and Sheets

June 19, 2008

There comes a time when
Bubble wrap must go away
How much can you pop?


June 14, 2008

I worry about
The kind of ants a subway
Picnic will attract

The Turn of the Screwdriver

May 27, 2008

Reading instruction
Manuals ahead ruins
The surprise ending

The Customer’s Sentence

May 26, 2008

We will offer you
Bread and water while you wait
Just like in prison

Fortune Teller

April 15, 2008

Instead of tarot
He predicts with birthday cards
“Cake’s in your future”


April 12, 2008

Here is another
Way you can spell disaster:

The Cave

January 15, 2008

The inner core of
A strawberry is like a
Sparkling geode


December 17, 2007

I’m feeling crusty
But not like a creme brulee
Crusty like pink eye


November 13, 2007

Those who fear their food
Has been sneezed on should worry
About their pepperĀ