Archive for the ‘Magnificent Beasts’ Category

Self-Sufficiency

May 7, 2010

My cat tries to teach
Me to hunt a sock dummy
Got to start somewhere

Regeneration

October 12, 2008

Did you know that a
Halved twenty will make two bills
Just like a cut worm

Pack Mule

July 18, 2007

I’m a donkey with
My cloth grocery bags slung
Over my shoulders

Rock On

July 17, 2007

With her ears flat back
My cat’s head looks much like a
Flying V guitar

Cheap Monster Makeup II

May 9, 2007

Pet a shedding cat
The excess fur will make you
Look like a werewolf

Voyage

May 7, 2007

A lone ant explores
To conquer like a little
Vasco da Gama

Lilliputians

May 3, 2007

My last Google search:
“Ant bites” plus “large colony”
Plus “takeover plans”

The In Hive

October 11, 2006

The only bees I
Dislike are the Killer kind
They are so stuck up

Fistfull

October 9, 2006

Removing the clog
Of cat hair from the lint trap
Is very pleasing

Spooky

October 8, 2006

I thought the attic
Was haunted but it turned out
To be a wasp nest

Non-Existent

October 5, 2006

I’ve tried to find wasps’
Redeemable qualities
And I’m still looking

Comparison

October 2, 2006

Wasps are not like bees
Bees make honey, spread flowers
While wasps only sting

Monster

October 1, 2006

My foot under the
Covers unsettles my cat
Terror from below

Liberal Bias Debatable

June 27, 2006

The New York Times and
My cat share a common trait
They’re both Gray Ladies

Wienerdog

June 1, 2006

A running dachshund
Looks like a wave rippling from
The front to the back

Aerodynamic

May 31, 2006

Kitty Hawk is the
Name of the birthplace of flight
And my cat's hairdo

Aquatic

May 19, 2006

His shark whisperer
Talent stayed hidden because
He'd never met one

Pairs Competition

May 15, 2006

The Cat Olympics'
Exciting new event is
Synchronized grooming

The Philosopher II

May 6, 2006

NothingNessie said
"Hell is other cryptids of
Unknown origins."

One of Us

May 5, 2006

"Gobble gobble hey!"
Sings Turkey Joey Ramone
Best band on the farm