Archive for February, 2006

The Musician

February 28, 2006

Only good songs need
Apply for the position
Of ear-drum player

Under the Weather

February 27, 2006

Getting sick shouldn’t
Happen on a day off; it
Should cause a day off

Kitty the Foodie

February 26, 2006

My cat's a gourmet;
She eats her food off the ground
Seasoned with floor spice

My Hero

February 25, 2006

Clad in slumber wear
And stealthy with her pillow:
Pyjama Ninja!

Keep Walking

February 24, 2006

Our worst customer
Went past the restaurant like
An icy shiver

The Jitters

February 23, 2006

I love coffee but
My hands shake like an earthquake
Is eight cups too much?

Questionable

February 22, 2006

I’m suspicious of
Quotation marks on menus
What else could “Milk” be?

The Shortcut

February 21, 2006

I’m looking for a
Seventeen syllable word–
Laziest haiku

The Solution

February 20, 2006

“This cup’s edge is sharp,”
Was the complaint; the server
Replied, “Have a straw!”

Serving the Mateys

February 19, 2006

I like to pretend,
When chopping potatoes, that
I’m a pirate chef

Fluffy

February 18, 2006

Fear of rabbit-fur
Sweaters traps him home 'cause he's
Angoraphobic

Princess Waitress

February 17, 2006

She’s Cinderella
Which makes me the stepsister
That’s how she tells it

The Irony

February 16, 2006

I am so obsessed
With insomnia that it
Keeps me up at night

Alert Guinness

February 15, 2006

Certain customers
Should receive world records, like
“World’s Longest Squatter.”

True Love

February 14, 2006

On narcissism:
Love from the one who knows just
How special I am

The Campaign

February 13, 2006

Body, rally up,
Lay siege on the land of sleep
Conquer the caffeine!

The Breakfast Menu

February 12, 2006

Least popular meal:
Eggs Quarantine, Decays sauce,
With Seizure salad

Not Yet Extinct

February 11, 2006

The Thesaurus is
A dinosaur that eats words,
Poops related terms

Sleep vs. Pet

February 10, 2006

Earplugs are no match
To my cat’s determined meows
I sleep on her terms

Settle Down

February 9, 2006

“Traffic Calming Zone”:
Street sign signals nap time for
Excitable cars